Age Matters when Teaching and Raising Young Kids

Photo by: Holger Zscheyge

Give a 6 year old kid a pencil, piece of paper, and 15 minutes and you'll have a vision of a masterpiece.  Give the same to an infant and you'll have a poked eye, crumpled paper in the mouth, and 14 1/2 minutes left.

It's pretty obvious that we can't expect older-kid-output out of younger kids.  We know they don't know certain things yet.  They aren't ready.  This is a very important point when it comes to teaching them.  Knowing what they are working with and expecting is key across all age stages.

'Hope' - Are These Big People My Friends?

From Womb to 18 Months, infants are trying to deal with the onslaught of information going their way.  New sights, sounds, colors, shapes, textures, temperatures, tastes, smells, feelings, thoughts, and oh so much more.  Surely, you can understand their frustrations at times.

This is the time where they work on trust.  "Can I rely on this guardian taking care of me or not?"  This is a wonderful time to start working on the building blocks of learning.  That pun is probably intended.  We'll see in a future article.  Set out the foundations here for the stages to come.

Where There's a 'Will' There's a Way

From 18 months to 3 years, kiddos are trying to figure out what the can and can't do.  Whether or not they always need to rely on you.  Work with this.  Gradually give them more and more responsibility.  Enable them.

Sure, they can't wash the knives, mow the lawn, or use bleach on the toilets.  But they can set the table, pick pillows up off the floor, and hand you ingredients.  They want to feel involved.  You may think that little involvement is insignificant - they think it's the world.  See it from their perspective.  Get them involved and interested early on.  Who knows, it might stick through teenager-dom.

Time to Work on 'Purpose'

From 3 to 6 years, they are trying to figure out if they are bad or good.  They are working on their initiative and guilt.  You should, as much as possible, opt for descriptive language instead of judgmental language here.

Junior has mud on his face.  Does he "look like a mess" or does he "have mud on his face."  One is a simple statement that leads to cleaning.  The other is a hit to self-worth.  Exaggeration, you wonder?  Does the kid know you're talking about mud when you mention it on his face?  If he did, would the mud be there?  He hears, from his loving parent, that he looks like a mess. Period.  Try to cut back on the judging style.

You know what works for you and it won't be easy, but it makes a world of difference.  Picture Him as the child Jesus, knowing full well what He will be when He gets 'older.'  Talk as if you were in His presence or at least try... I know some days are super-rough.  But you get my drift.  You can at least *plan* for the best.

Ages and Stages and Learning, Oh My!

Kids go through so many changes in the first couple of years.  You must be prepared to change your game up, too.  Using the same tools you did when they were in the 'Infant' stage as when they are 'Preschoolers' will only end up frustrating everyone.

Grow with the kids.  Be as interested in life, love, and the awesome world around you as they are.  It becomes second nature if you see through their eyes.  Love them kiddos.

Here's a chart I made that splits out the expected stages across the ages for development. (based on Erik Erikson's research)

Judgemental or Descriptive Feedback - Self-Worth Weapon or Tool?

Self-worth.  It's not something we usually think a 3 year old would have.  I mean, come one, they're just little kids, right?

Wrong... oh so wrong.  Psychological research shows that what the child learns, around 3 to 4 years of age, HUGELY impacts their self-worth and esteem... for the rest of their lives.


Oh and before you run off saying "I don't have kids!"... stick around.  There's a deeper point

...I just had to upgrade this post to a full blown one over at the main blog...  go check it out:

http://richardstep.com/self-help/judge-or-describe-your-self-worth-is-at-stake/

Teach Your Child Using Their Own Building Blocks of Understanding

Photo by: Pink Sherbert Photography

When it comes to teaching a child any new kind of philosophy, subject, tool, or basically anything that is new, you have to know that there a couple things that will determine your success.

For one, whatever you do you have to turn it into words and tools that your child will understand.  You can spend 14 hours every day for 8 months and still not have your child understand what it means to close the door if your child does not know how to close the door, or has never been shown how to work a doorknob.

Also, now that I've brought time into the picture, I would like to point out: when is the last time that you picked up the ability to do a new task at work?

When Microsoft Office switched over to the ribbon in the 2007 Version, how long did it take you to get back into the groove of things?  And on that same note, are you still a little bit unhappy with it?  You know what makes it even better, Office 2010 then seems have kind of gone away with it a little bit.  You can see that there is a bit of frustration in this process.

Work with your child, work at the base tool or bit of understanding you think is necessary to build up to the next level of understanding.

If you say to your child, “please draw a picture of an orange…” you have to understand that there are several layers of things here a child has to understand before they can complete that task.

What does draw mean?

How do I draw?

How do I hold this thing?

Which fingers do I put it between?

Do I need to apply pressure?

What's pressure?

Do I keep applying pressure?

Is the worst that you want me to draw the one you know about, although one I know about?

What do I draw?

Why is this thing that I am drawing on moving when I'm moving my crayon?

How can I stop it from moving?

How do I translate this thought of an orange circular thing into a Circle object on this piece of paper?

Why are mommy and daddy looking at me with those grumpy faces?

Will they still love me the same if I can’t do this?

I don’t want to draw anymore because I don’t want to make them have grumpy faces.

One of the best things that I've done to help me understand how to talk to my children is to take a complex task, take out all of the hard words, and replace them with words and concepts I know my child is familiar with.  Try this sometime.

How would you explain traffic to a child?  How about the concept of before and after?  How about recycling?

Get on the same level, speak the same language, use the building blocks you know they have, and be as patient as you think you can be while working through love through every step.